Inclusion isn't just about being nice to people
I've come to see that paternalism is my own personal kryptonite. I can't stand people thinking they know better than me what is best for me - and not just thinking it, but assuming and acting on it.
The truth is that I've experienced paternalism my entire life. It's everywhere - it's in the air we breath, and we're all, to varying degrees, socialized into it.
It's also pretty much a founding principle for most of our non-profit and mission driven corporate clients.
The thing that we find that organizations and their leaders don't understand though is that paternalism hurts them too.
Paternalism, as defined by Tema Okun in the Characteristics of White Supremacy Culture as, amongst other things:
Those with power often don’t think it is important or necessary to understand the viewpoint or experience of those for whom they are making decisions
Here's the thing: including people who are affected by decisions in the decision-making is not just the "right thing to do" - a necessary inconvenience to those in power to demonstrate that they are being "inclusive."
Including people who are affected by decisions in the decision-making helps you to make better decisions.
That sounds good right? It's easy to agree with. But much harder to put into practice.
But here's what we can try.
Include people who are affected by the decisions in the decision-making - be open to the possibility that we will end up making better decisions as a result. (Don’t just include them - actively invite, welcome and recognize the value of their input.)
Discuss the ways in which defensiveness or resistance to new ideas gets in the way of the mission.
We don’t have to agree with or incorporate all feedback. But what might the benefits be from listening and taking it into account?
And how can we be transparent about how and why decisions are made?
Recognize that those who are speaking up are not divisive, unprofessional or incompetent - they are actually providing tremendous value for the organization if only they could be heard, and they should be recognized and rewarded as such.
Defensiveness is a very natural and human reaction that gets in the way of us being open to input and feedback. I feel my own defensiveness kicking in all the time and have to actively practice recognizing and managing it. I don't always do a good job of it.
In addition, many of us have past experiences and traumas that put us into a "flight or flight" stress response when we feel we are being challenged. Recognizing and managing that response, especially when we are in power, is part of the work of being equitable and inclusive.
This stuff isn't easy. It takes constant work and practice, and it's not something we can ever check off on a list as done.
But once we start to experience the benefits, the motivation to do so becomes intrinsic. This is the kind of acceleration that we love to see in our client orgs.
Banner Photo by Abigail Keenan on Unsplash
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