“No judgement”

You ask for no judgement when talking about race.

But when you lined us up on the auction block and determined our monetary value, when you bought us and sold us and traded us like livestock, was there no judgement?

When you spat at us, slurred racial epithets and told us to go back to China, was there no judgement?

When you chanted “build that wall” or profiled us as terrorists, was there no judgement?

When you put your knee on a man’s neck for 9 minutes and 29 seconds and murdered him in public while he called for his mother, was there no judgement?

So yes, we are judging you.

We are judging you to determine how safe you are for us to be around.

We are judging you to determine where you’re coming from so we know how best to work with you.

We are judging you to better understand the culture and environment you are part of to determine what it will take to support you and collaborate with you to drive change towards equity and inclusion.

Here’s what we can promise:

We believe that we are all inherently worthy and do not have to defend or prove our worth, so we are not judging you to determine your value or whether you are a good or bad person.

It’s not about being a good or bad person and it doesn’t matter if we like you or not.

We understand that your impact may not align with your intentions. If you cause harm, we are not going to assume that was your intention, or that you’re a bad person.

(Again, it’s not about being a good or bad person.)

Judgement is part of the human condition - we all make millions of judgements every day just to navigate the process of being alive.

We have to judge, but we can also be open and curious.

Something I’m curious about is… what is it that is so frightening for white folks about being judged?

Are you afraid of being judged the way you judge us as people of color?

Are you so committed to your inherent goodness that you can’t tolerate the discomfort of getting feedback?

Is it that white culture has actually embedded you with shame and secrecy and you’re terrified of being found out?

Are you afraid to find out that you are human after all?

Self-coaching for DEI Advocates and Leaders

Join us for a free weekly email series and check-in on co-creating real and lasting shifts towards diversity, equity, inclusion and antiracism at your company or organization. Sign up here.