Feedback isn’t about you
I never thought that so much of the work I would do as a DEI consultant would be about giving and receiving feedback - mostly about receiving it and, by extension, inviting it.
But it turns out that a big part of co-creating inclusion is about getting feedback from those who are impacted by decisions in order to make better decisions.
Listen, I get it, feedback can be really hard to hear. It can feel like a personal attack.
But it isn’t.
Feedback isn’t about you.
It’s about the person giving it and the IMPACT they are experiencing from your actions (whether as an individual, a team, an organization or a culture).
You cannot control what they are experiencing, but if your actions are contributing to an impact that isn’t what you had intended or anticipated, don’t you want to know that so you can make a decision about whether or not you should adjust your actions?
If you can’t get past hearing feedback as a personal attack, you are missing out on really valuable information that will help you make better decisions and create better outcomes for all. Is that what you want? Is that really benefitting YOU in the long run?
For suggestions on getting past the natural defensiveness that often arises when we receive hard hitting feedback, we’ve written about this a few times before:
Feedback may be painful but it is critical for equity and inclusion
Feedback is a gift, even if you don’t like the wrapping paper
Banner photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash
Self-coaching for DEI Advocates and Leaders
Join us for a free weekly email series and check-in on co-creating real and lasting shifts towards diversity, equity, inclusion and antiracism at your company or organization. Sign up here.