Slowing down to speed up
We talk a lot with our clients about slowing down to speed up.
Spoiler alert: it’s a little bit of a brain hack because ideally the goal isn’t to speed up at all, at least not purely for the sake of speeding up.
However, we are so deeply socialized into the idea that “progress is bigger/more” and into a “sense of urgency” that the idea of slowing down seems so deeply impossible, ill-advised, and unsafe to the point of being ludicrous.
Slowing down can seem unthinkable, especially to those of us passionate about creating change. There is no time to waste and however much we do, it will never be enough, so the least we can do is push ourselves to do more more more. So we tell ourselves.
And so it can help to trick the brain into the idea of slowing down for the sake of speeding up.
It’s not entirely untrue either. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, we can in fact achieve things more quickly and effectively if we take the time to slow down and not create more work for ourselves in our haste.
What’s that saying? Haste makes waste.
And when we say “slow down to speed up” we don’t necessarily mean slow down and do nothing.
We mean, slow down to make sure that you are doing steps 1-10 and not jumping to step 11, which is more likely to fail if you’ve skipped steps 1-10.
We mean, slow down because it is often in scarcity and urgency that we cause the most harm.
We mean, slow down in order to do the work of equity and inclusion, that is, of gathering feedback and input from those impacted by decisions, of bringing a power analysis and keeping the long view in mind, and of being trauma-informed.
That is all true… AND consider the idea of “speeding up” in and of itself.
“Speeding up” suggests there is a destination to get to… and then we can rest.
But will we ever get to that destination? Or will there always be more to do?
Is “speeding up” in fact a construct of white supremacy culture, capitalism and other systems of oppression?
Is speeding up itself an oppressive construct?
I don’t think it has to be a binary. There are times when speeding up is necessary and in service of freedom, justice, and liberation.
But a world in which speeding up is the only option, a world that doesn’t allow for the humanity that is recognized by recognizing the need for rest - I have come to learn how oppressive that is, and how easy it is for us to become complicit in our own oppression.
For women and gender expansive people of color especially who are used to being the most reliable person in the room, we know that no one will do it if we don’t.
And often it’s true.
Yet who will do it if we always do?
And how does driving ourselves into the ground ultimately help anyone?
How does that help create the world we want to see?
I often talk about how the work of shifting towards equity and inclusion is like stepping out in front of the freight train of white supremacy culture every day.
But actually, we are ON the freight train of white supremacy culture too.
We can go fast or we can go slow, but can we stop it?
What if we got off the train all together?
What if slowing down was a way of DIVESTING from white supremacy culture, even if only for a moment?
What if slowing down was itself a radical and revolutionary act of dismantling white supremacy culture and shifting towards equity and inclusion?
I’m not talking about freezing as a trauma response.
I’m not talking about denial, avoidance and paralysis as a response to white supremacy culture.
I’m talking about actively and intentionally and affirmatively choosing to slow down as a means of recognizing and honoring our humanity, healing our nervous systems, and giving our bodies the chance to experience a different way of living. A different way of being.
Listen, it’s a hard thing to get your mind around, for sure.
And as I said, I’m not saying never act quickly. I move fast, I’m energized by moving fast, some of my best work is done by moving fast…
AND
… what I’ve realized through experience is that moving fast isn’t the only way and it’s definitely not the best way all of the time.
In fact, moving fast all of the time, buying into the idea that there is no other way, is a surefire way to create harm and reach burnout.
As Tema Okun says about sense of urgency as a characteristic of white supremacy culture:
“White supremacy culture likes to engender a culture of urgency in those of us who are working to dismantle it because it knows that living with a constant sense that everything is urgent is a recipe for the abuse of power and burnout.”
How do we even start to slow down when it doesn’t feel like an option?
There’s no right answer to this question, but I’ve found the “slow down to speed up” brain hack is a helpful one for those of us who are driven high achievers.
“Slow down to do steps 1-10 instead of skipping to step 11” is also a helpful brain hack for the “high achievers” and self-proclaimed “doers” as well as those who might be inclined slow down to a complete stand still of analysis paralysis and/or denial and/or perfectionism.
Slowing down isn’t stopping. It isn’t giving up.
It’s about embracing a different model of doing things.
My story of slowing down
I have slowed wayyyyyyyy down over the course of my professional life.
I was that overachieving perfectionist doing a million different things even in high school. I actually lost my voice for about a week during high school I was doing so much - I can see now it was body’s attempt to slow me down.
Of course, I didn’t learn the lesson the first time, and in fact had to learn it over and over.
I burned out in college in that by the end I was DONE and couldn’t wait to leave.
I burned out as an architect in the “dot com era” in NYC responding in kind to the pressure and speed of the time.
I burned out as a new mom launching an online photography program to over 200 people with a three year old and a one month old.
My life became completely unmanageable… only now it wasn’t just me who was impacted, it wasn’t just my husband but it was also my two young kids.
It couldn’t continue - literally.
My photography business failed to produce a sustainable income and I returned to working in architecture knowing I had to do something different.
When I interviewed, I was up front that I wouldn’t be working long hours.
My mantra was “impress by doing less”, another brain hack because ideally “impressing” isn’t the goal either - but it worked at the time.
I did less and I was more successful then before - I made more money, and I worked on bigger and higher profile projects.
Not only that but it was actually far more rewarding than I expected and I learned a lot, but ultimately it wasn’t for me. I wasn’t in my “zone of genius” and it still felt like “doing less” would only take me so far.
I needed to get out of the system, but in many ways going back to architecture WAS a slowing down of my pursuit of finding work that would make better use of my talents and feel more satisfying and impactful.
In slowing down rather than trying to force something through sheer will, I gave myself time to grieve, and to heal, and to tend to old wounds, and to become more myself again.
It gave me space to reflect on who I really was, what energized me, what my talents, passions and values were, and where I could make an impact.
It gave me time to really lean into and learn about RECOVERY and HEALING which take the time it takes and cannot be rushed.
It was about ten years from there to the No Work Work Retreat.
I’m not saying I’ve arrived (there is no destination, right?) but I have a very different relationship to slowing down these days, and my whole life is better for it AND I feel that I’m making a deeper impact than ever in the world.
Slowing down makes me a better and more effective person - I can see that now.
We can slow each other down.
Slowing down can help to build safety and trust, which also means that slowing down is best down collaboratively, in community.
Some days I remind others to slow down, other days they remind me. We remind each other, and we model it for each other. We practice together.
Malaika has been instrumental in introducing the “slow burn” to our clients (and ourselves) and it has been really effective. Danae and LaVoya each in their own way model slowing down with their very presence. The No Work Work Retreat slowed us all down.
It’s not just about telling ourselves to slow down though.
Slowing down, like almost anything else, has to be operationalized.
Here are some things we’ve done on the CCI team to slow things down:
Meeting and slack-free Wednesdays and Fridays from 9am-2pm
Client work in 6-week sessions with breaks in between as well as the entire month of August with no external meetings
Closing the office for a week in August and a week at the end of the year
Buffer time between meetings
5-minute breaks in the middle of every meeting
Mindful moments at the beginning of every group facilitation (usually breathing or some other mindfulness technique lead by one of our team)
Use of scheduled emails and slack messages
Slower pacing of work with clients mapped out over multiple years
“Three-word chatstorm check-in” at the start of our first team meeting of the week instead of jumping right in
What is something simple you could operationalize to help you and your team slow down?
Banner photo by Frames For Your Heart on Unsplash
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