How our values and natural preferences help us in times of disruption (Second Breaks podcast episode 125)

I know, it's a global pandemic, it's been a rough time for all of us. We're in collective stress and trauma, and of course there are wide disparities in how this is showing up for each of us.

I know I am privileged. So far my family seems to be healthy. We can stay home. We have enough space that we can each be on our video calls in different parts of the house. We have a backyard.

And yet still, within that context, it's been hard for me, and one of the things that has been crushing my soul has been... helping my 8yo an 11yo boys navigate online school.

I know, if that's my biggest challenge, I'm lucky.

But it has really felt like an unnecessary layer of awful on top of all the necessary layers of awful. How important is it that my 8yo learns how to calculate the area of a rectilinear shape right now? Is the stress of the utter nightmare that is Google Classroom worth the very small amount of resulting learning?

Favorite quote of the week from a fellow parent: "Calling Google Classroom spartan is an insult to Sparta."

Last week, however, I had an aha moment as I reflected on why it was so hard for me to just ditch online school (see What is energizing for you right now?)

This was great preparation for my podcast interview later that day with Lou Blaser which just went live today: Second Breaks Ep.125 - How Our Values and Natural Preferences Help Us in Times of Disruption. This conversation about how we might align with what energizes right now was... really energizing!

In both the article and podcast episode, I talk a lot about the process I went through as I tried to figure out why online school was so draining for me, yet so hard for me to let go.

This week I made the decision: I am resigning as Resident Online School Administrator. Wednesday was my last day, and now we have a week and a half of spring break. I am ready to responsibly opt out of online school altogether, but my husband is not... and so the job is his after spring break :)

I can't tell you how soul crushing it was for me to be administering online school. I developed an almost irrational aversion to it. It reminded me of the days when I used to file my own taxes, or that fun time I tried to file my own immigration papers. I mean, I guess it works for some, people do become accountants and immigration lawyers after all, but more than the time it took, it just sapped my will to live, which I know is ridiculously melodramatic when so many are facing a much harsher reality BUT suffice it to say that it felt completely unsustainable to me, it is just really hard for me to comply with a system I don't believe in, and today I can finally feel myself breathing again.

I think now more than ever, those of us that can have the opportunity to figure out what we need to do our best work, while centering on those most pushed to the margins, and taking into accounts community harm and needs.

It's going to be a journey, but today I am grateful that I no longer feel like poking my eyes out with sticks.

What can you do to create some breathing space for yourself right now?

Join me for a free weekly email check-in that will bring you some extra support and accountability. Sign up here.

Banner photo by Taylor Van Riper on Unsplash