I don't have to know what to do next

The other day, someone shared with me that something they have learned, and that they've been practicing during this time, is:

"I don't have to know what to do next."

Although I have known this for a while, it really hit me in the gut all over again. A sense of relief washed over me. I felt my entire body, heart, and soul exhale.

I've spent a lot of my life knowing what to do next - pretty much my whole life actually. As someone who has taken on and internalized paradigms of responsibility, achievement, perfectionism, efficiency and productivity in order to survive, prove myself, and be of "value" (I recognize this as part of an immigrant mindset but I think it shows up in all kinds of places for all kinds of reasons), I've also had leadership, project management, and consulting roles where it has literally been my job to know what to do next.

People have often looked to me for what to do next, for as long as I can remember, and for a long time, I never thought to do anything other than figure it out.

Even if it exhausted me. Even if it burnt me out. Even if I didn't want it to be on me, or didn't think it should be on me to figure it out.

And it's true that I am a big picture strategic thinker. It's true that part of my "zone of genius" is the ability to help people and organizations see how they can get from where they are to where they want to do. Often the next steps magically appear before me in ways that others cannot see.

But that doesn't mean that I always have to know what's next.

And in fact, from an equity perspective, it's important that I realize that I don't always know what's next, that I don't always have the inside track on the right way to do things, and that I shouldn't assume that I do.

Saviorism is when we assume that we know what is best for others (most commonly seen in the form of white saviorism, but not limited to white folks).

Instead we can give up the imperative to always be an expert. We can stop putting ourselves above others (or below them). We can let go of the need to be in control and have our hands on the steering wheel at all times.

Instead we can focus on listening to the voices of others, especially those most pushed to the margins and who face the most systemic obstacles. We can share power and resources. We can work towards collaboration and co-creation.

Sometimes the best solutions are the ones we never could have imagined. We only need to get out of the way enough to see it.

Join me for a free weekly email check-in that will bring you some extra support and accountability. Sign up here.

Banner photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash. Also published on LinkedIn.