Self-regulation as a critical leadership skill
We know there's a lot going on right now and something that has been coming up in our coaching sessions with executives, leaders and staff is stress and burnout. We’ve written about burnout before, deep into the worst of the pandemic, and revisited over a year later, the strategies (and science) are just as relevant today, even if our stressors have shifted.
The fact is that we can't rely on the absence of stressors to reduce stress… there will always be stressors.
The goods news is that this means that, although not easy, it is possible for stress to be alleviated, even if the stressors cannot be removed.
Self-regulation is a critical leadership skill for all of us, whether we are in titled leadership roles or not.
When we are stressed or burnt out, we are more likely to escalate situations, lash out in anger, make reactive rather than strategic decisions, or revert to default behaviors and upholding the status quo, all of which can cause harm, often to those who are contextually less aligned with power.
It is important that we are able to self-regulate and de-escalate ourselves so that we can help to de-escalate others and create psychological safety, even if we're not entirely experiencing psychological safety ourselves.
This in itself takes learning, awareness, skills and practice. It does not happen overnight, and our skills have to evolve with our circumstances. What worked when we were in one role may not work in another. What worked in our 20s and 30s may not work in our 40s and 50s. What worked before the pandemic may not work now.
Note that this does NOT mean shutting down emotions when we’re at work as so many of us have been trained to do when in fact this often causes us to become even more disregulated.
What it means is creating space for our reactions and emotions, which by the way often provide very important but overlooked information, so we can move through them to a more considered place.
Some things to think about:
How do you manage your time? Do you have quiet focused self-reflection and integration time planned into your day/week/month/year?
What communication strategies do you have, such as leaning into curiosity, for when conflict arises?
Are you aware of when you are defaulting to behaviors that can be harmful such as people pleasing?
Are you designing for uncertainty?
Do you recognize that feedback is a gift, even if you don’t like the wrapping paper?
Are you able to not take things personally?
Do you have a trauma-informed personal safety plan?
Do you have strategies for completing the stress cycle so you don’t stay stuck in burnout?
As you can see, so many of our blog posts are in fact about strategies to help with self-regulation.
This is because DEI requires us to make intentional and strategic decisions - decisions that are hard to make from a place of stress and burnout - to do things differently in order to shift culture towards equity and inclusion
What are you doing for yourself so you can better self-regulate in moments of stress and burnout? What are you doing to support your team so they can do the same?
Self-coaching for DEI Advocates and Leaders
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