We write weekly on the issues that are top of mind for us as we do the work of driving equity, shifting culture and co-creating inclusion with our clients. To receive these posts via email, join our free weekly email series, Self-coaching for DEI advocates and leaders.
A few months ago I wrote about how every memory hurts and everyone is traumatized.
Every memory still hurts.
And what I along with our team at Co-Creating Inclusion have been exploring is how grief is necessary for change.
The ability to grieve, then, is a rarely articulated leadership skill, if we are aspiring for creativity, innovation and transformation towards equity, inclusion, justice and liberation.
Read MoreWe know there's a lot going on right now and something that has been coming up in our coaching sessions with executives, leaders and staff is stress and burnout. We’ve written about burnout before, deep into the worst of the pandemic, and revisited over a year later, the strategies (and science) are just as relevant today, even if our stressors have shifted.
Read MoreEarlier this year, we did a deep dive into people pleasing, and how people pleasing should not consistently traumatize the people you are trying to please.
We did several group sessions on people pleasing, and it seemed to open people up to thinking about people pleasing and its adverse impacts in new ways.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that people pleasing goes away overnight.
These patterns and habits are deeply ingrained in us, and are often rooted in strategies developed to respond to childhood trauma or harm.
Read MoreLast week Malaika, Danae and I were in Seattle to meet with a client and to do our first in-person facilitation with an org client since late February 2020.
I am loathe to say that in person is categorically better - our team was built as a remote team since before the pandemic and we have not found it to be a barrier to building trust and collaboration, although I recognize that is easier when you have a small team that has always worked remotely.
And yet… there is something very powerful about the embodied experience of being together in physical space. Conversation flows a little easier. There is no fumbling for the mute button. You can ready full body language. There is a shared physical experience, even if it’s just being in the same space.
Read MoreAbortion rights under attack, a formula shortage, covid rates rising again with almost 1 million dead in the US, and this past weekend, another deadly racist massacre by a white supremacist domestic terrorist... all differing outcomes of similar systemic root causes. Knowing it's the system working exactly as designed doesn't make it hit any less hard though.
I’ve been catching up with Brene Brown podcast episodes from the past few months and one thing she keeps saying is “people are not ok.” I appreciate that framing. I don’t think I’m any more or less ok than anyone else. Which is to say that I’m more ok than some and less ok than others.
I think that collectively we are not ok.
Read MoreTrauma is everywhere, both “big T” and “little t” trauma, much of which has been exacerbated these past two years of a global pandemic.
I do believe some of the shifts have also created opportunities for healing. In my experience, the exacerbation of certain trauma means that we have been forced to confront and address it rather than continuing to white knuckle our way through it.
And yet there is still so much unhealed trauma, and new trauma layered daily at the systemic, institutional, interpersonal as well as internalized level.
Part of the work of diversity, equity and inclusion is to heal ourselves so that in our trauma, we are not causing further harm to ourselves or others.
Read MoreWhen I first started doing DEI consulting, I have to say I didn’t expect that so much of what we do would be about opening up spaces so our clients can gather feedback from across their staff.
However, it has proven to be one of the most valuable aspects of our work.
What we’ve realized is that we are hired to uncover the truths that may be painful for organizations to hear but that have the potential to be transformative if only they are open to it.
Read MoreWith Juneteenth now a federal holiday, a decision made on Thursday, the day before the Friday that would mark the holiday (I mean come on now!) many Black folks and others have been expressing mixed feelings about this development.
Unrelated to Juneteenth, our team has been having a lot of conversations lately with white leaders and their BIPOC staff about tokenism, performance, lip service, hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance. There is a HUGE toll to pay when actions and impact are out of alignment with professed values. It is EXHAUSTING.
Read MoreAs you may know if you've read recent posts on grief and trauma and focusing on needs, trauma has been very much on my mind and in my heart lately. As this tremendously difficult school year starts to come to a close (or has already closed in some parts of the country), as vaccination roll-out starts to include our tweens and teens, and as pandemic restrictions start to lift and companies and organizations are in various stages of considering their reopening plans, you would think that this would be a time of joy and celebration... and it is for some, to varying degrees, but it is also a time where many of us are still processing and coming to terms with what we just went through, and the trauma of it all.
Not to mention that, as I have said before, the fact that DEI work is the work of dismantling the systems that cause oppression and trauma, as well as facilitating healing at an internal, interpersonal, organizational and systemic level has never been more clear to me.
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