Blog

We write weekly on the issues that are top of mind for us as we do the work of driving equity, shifting culture and co-creating inclusion with our clients. To receive these posts via email, join our free weekly email series, Self-coaching for DEI advocates and leaders.

What does vacationing have to do with DEI?

What does vacationing have to do with DEI?

There are hard things going on in the world right now (when are there not?) which makes rest and recuperation more important than ever, especially for those of us actively working towards equity, inclusion, justice and healing.

I’ve been thinking about this as I just got back from a week’s vacation and I think I’ve discovered the secret to vacationing, at least for me right now.

And by “discovered” what I mean is that we have intentionally planned and designed and iterated on this over many years.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickApril 28, 2024Comment

Every memory hurts. Everyone is traumatized.

Every memory hurts. Everyone is traumatized.

My computer has a screen saver that shows a dynamic array of all my favorite photos, which are mostly of my kids over the years. My 15 year old is now significantly taller than me, and my 12 year old soon will be.

Seeing their smiles and little bodies from past years brings me so much joy. These photos capture priceless memories that are some of my most treasured.

And yet at the same time, every memory hurts.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickApril 7, 2024Comment

Being brave about transparency

Being brave about transparency

I’ve been thinking more about transparency, and how it is related to authenticity. Why is authenticity so hard, especially across difference? Why is it often in the parts of our identity where we align with dominant culture that we struggle more to be authentic, at least in diverse spaces?

We often hear about fear from folks in the privileged aspects of their identity. White folks, for example, are often afraid of “saying the wrong thing” in discussions about race, or of “taking up too much space” or “causing harm.” This is not a bad thing, per se, but when it causes people to clam up or retreat it can further erode safety.

When we are afraid, transparency is often the last thing we want to lean into. We are socialized into conflict avoidance.

Inclusive LeadershipAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 24, 2024Comment

Acceptance is not endorsement

Acceptance is not endorsement

We’ve been talking and thinking a lot about change recently, both within the team at CCI and with our clients. DEI is, to us, inherently about change, not for the sake of change, but in order to shift towards equity and inclusion.

Change work, however, by necessity involves grief work, which by necessity involves acceptance work.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 10, 2024#acceptance, #change, #griefComment

Transparency can create more trust than it prevents

Transparency can create more trust than it prevents

People and orgs tend to shy away from transparency out of fear of opening themselves up for critique or creating distrust.

However, what I've experienced and observed is that lack of transparency itself creates more distrust than it prevents. People tend to have a sense for when they are being lied to, gaslit, or handled, even if they can't necessarily put a finger on it.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 4, 2024Comment

Goals we can control

Goals we can control

Try this - think about three things that would make the rest of your day great. Jot them down on a piece of paper or a note on your phone or computer.

Now, take a look at them and consider, how many of the things you wrote down are completely within your control?

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickFebruary 25, 2024#needs, #systems, #goals, #atomichabitsComment

Patience as a catalyst for change

Patience as a catalyst for change

People often think that DEI work is about race - at its most demonized, the misconception is that it’s about making white people believe they and the US are inherently racist. At its best it is often thought to be about how to hire more Black and other people of color so that the staff is more reflective of the communities they serve.

It is absolutely not the former, and the latter is only a very small part.

I’m not even sure I knew it when I started out, but what I’ve come to find is that, for me at least, DEI work is about healing - healing from the trauma and harm of systems of oppression.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickFebruary 22, 2024#change, #patienceComment

Creating psychological safety for ourselves

Creating psychological safety for ourselves

At Co-Creating Inclusion, one of the questions we constantly ask ourselves, each other, and our clients is - do you have what you need to do your best work?

Psychological safety is a key factor.

This doesn’t mean we can’t do really great work without it - let’s face it, workplaces are typically not psychologically safe for most.

But the cost of doing work without psychological safety is significant, both to employees and the organizations they work for. I often think of the lost untapped potential that impacts us all.

But what can folks do if they identify that they are lacking in psychological safety?

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickFebruary 11, 2024#psychologicalsafety, #agency, #personalsafetyplanComment

The Mask You Live In (documentary)

The Mask You Live In (documentary)

The Mask You Live In (available for viewing here) is a powerful documentary that explores how boys and men “struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickJanuary 28, 2024#maskyoulivein, #toxicmasculinityComment

What do feelings have to do with DEI?

What do feelings have to do with DEI?

Feelings. Complicated. Messy. Awkward. Inconvenient. Subjective. Unprofessional.

One of the things we find ourselves doing as a result is creating space for feelings in our DEI work. And then people comment on what an awkward transition that is coming in from other workspaces.

The point is not that DEI spaces are spaces where you can have your feelings. What do feelings even have to do with DEI?

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickJanuary 21, 2024#feelings, #mindfulness, #selfregulationComment

The work of healing

The work of healing

There is so much magic in creating a space for people to speak and be heard. It’s not always pretty. It’s often uncomfortable. But I find such relief and healing in truth telling… in a world where we are socialized to do anything but.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickJanuary 14, 2024#healing, #agency, #traumaComment

Equity can feel “unfair” to those who already have advantages

Equity can feel “unfair” to those who already have advantages

The support that other folks need that we don’t can feel unfair because that support is very visible, whereas the support that comes to us in our privileged identities is often invisible, especially when that advantage often comes in the form of a lack of obstacles and barriers.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickDecember 10, 2023#equity, #needs, #littlefireseverywhere Comment

Work and life, an integration

Work and life, an integration

One of the things I’ve found so fascinating about parenting is how relevant the lessons learned are to work life and vice versa. I love being able to bring all aspects of my identify and self to all aspects of my life.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickDecember 3, 2023#schools, #education, #worklifeintegrationComment

Letting go of external validation seeking

Letting go of external validation seeking

I’d always thought of myself as a fairly confident person. However, there was a time in my life, a moment of sudden realization that so much of my confidence and worth was based on what other people thought of me.

Is self-worth based on external validation truly self-worth?

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickNovember 26, 2023#externalvalidation, #feedback, #valuesComment

What progress sometimes feels like

What progress sometimes feels like

There’s a moment in our work, whether it’s during a particular meeting or whether it’s over the course of a more extended period of time, where the containers that we work to build create space for hard truths to be spoken or revealed.

Things that have been swept under the rug for niceness, people pleasing, fear of conflict, denial and avoidance become visible.

It’s progress, but often it’s so painful, an opening of Pandora’s box, that it doesn’t feel like progress. It feels like things got worse.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickNovember 19, 2023#progress, #change, #workplaceComment

Self-regulation as a critical leadership skill

Self-regulation as a critical leadership skill

We know there's a lot going on right now and something that has been coming up in our coaching sessions with executives, leaders and staff is stress and burnout. We’ve written about burnout before, deep into the worst of the pandemic, and revisited over a year later, the strategies (and science) are just as relevant today, even if our stressors have shifted.

Inclusive LeadershipAlethea FitzpatrickNovember 12, 2023#selfregulation, #leadership, #curiosity, #uncertainty, #traumainformedComment

Self-righteousness

Self-righteousness

The obvious microaggressions are easy to spot. The anger flares inside immediately and past similar incidents rise to the surface unbidden.

It’s painful but it’s clear cut.

It’s the subtler ones that eat at you, almost on a time delayed extended release. At first you’re annoyed but not that bothered. But then it slowly sinks in. It feels familiar but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’re irked, but you’re also irked at yourself for being irked.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickOctober 29, 2023#selfrighteousness, #gaslightingComment

We are not all equally harmed but we are all harmed

We are not all equally harmed but we are all harmed

The devastation I have been feeling at a cellular level in my body this week is a recall of my personal journey of grief as I realized that aligning with whiteness (as a system, not a people) was not going to keep me safe, and that any privileges I gained by aligning with whiteness were not for my benefit but for the purposes of oppressing others.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickOctober 15, 2023#whitesupremacy, #colonization, #collectiveliberationComment

No one is free until we are all free

No one is free until we are all free

My heart and mind and entire body really is heavy from the past few days of news about the horrifying attacks in Israel, the impacts, and the ripple effect of shock, grief and trauma even for those not directly impacted.

It feels out of my lane yet also very relevant to the work I do.

For now I am reading, listening, learning, and engaging in conversation where I can.

Here’s what I know: anti-Semitism, Islamophobia and anti-Arabism are all pillars of white supremacy. If destroying one pillar depends on fortifying another, white supremacy prevails.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickOctober 12, 2023#whitesupremacy, #collectiveliberation, #violenceComment

People pleasing as a barrier to engagement

People pleasing as a barrier to engagement

Earlier this year, we did a deep dive into people pleasing, and how people pleasing should not consistently traumatize the people you are trying to please.

We did several group sessions on people pleasing, and it seemed to open people up to thinking about people pleasing and its adverse impacts in new ways.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that people pleasing goes away overnight.

These patterns and habits are deeply ingrained in us, and are often rooted in strategies developed to respond to childhood trauma or harm.

Inclusive LeadershipAlethea FitzpatrickOctober 1, 2023#peoplepleasing, #traumainformed, #characteristicsofwhitesupremacycultureComment