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I have not historically considered myself to be a particularly anxious person. Have I always carried fear with me in ways I may not even have realized at the time? Absolutely.

But I’ve fought the socialization and expectation to stay small and quiet. Perhaps it’s the extrovert/external processor in me but the impetus to speak, and to speak the truth, has been strong.

These past few years in the pandemic, though, seem to have brought out an anxiety in me that feels superimposed and unwelcome, and I know I’m not the only one.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickJuly 17, 2022#anxiety, #selfknowledge, #trust, #acceptance

The messy middle

The messy middle is… messy.

And it’s uncomfortable.

We’re generally not used to letting things sit unresolved. We are socialized to fix things. We are rewarded for fixing things. But sometimes, rushing in to fix things doesn’t actually fix things. Sometimes it is when we are in urgency or scarcity that we cause the most harm.

Creating a trauma-informed personal safety plan

Trauma is everywhere, both “big T” and “little t” trauma, much of which has been exacerbated these past two years of a global pandemic.

I do believe some of the shifts have also created opportunities for healing. In my experience, the exacerbation of certain trauma means that we have been forced to confront and address it rather than continuing to white knuckle our way through it.

And yet there is still so much unhealed trauma, and new trauma layered daily at the systemic, institutional, interpersonal as well as internalized level.

Part of the work of diversity, equity and inclusion is to heal ourselves so that in our trauma, we are not causing further harm to ourselves or others.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickApril 17, 2022#trauma, #traumainformed, #takefive, #needs

Say the thing

We know that feedback can be hard to hear.

It is perhaps one of the hardest things we ask leaders and others who align with power and privilege within their identities and their organizations to do when we do DEI work.

However, it’s the organizations that can work through the tough process of hearing difficult feedback that often make the most progress in shifting workplace culture to better serve their mission. We do a lot of scaffolding so leaders understand that feedback is a gift, even if you don’t like the wrapping paper, that it isn’t personal, that systems of oppression, although they manifest differently, show up in every organization, and that in order to change something, you first have to be able to name it.

Create a circle not a ladder

One of the things we talk about a lot in our work with organizations is building a circle not a ladder.

What do we mean by this?

Well, a ladder is a hierarchy. There are people on top and people below. Often, those higher up on the ladder think that DEI work means extending a hand down to those below to help them up the ladder.

Um, no thank you.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 20, 2022#circlenotladder, #saviorism, #hierarchy

Our new website is live!

Our new website is live and we invite you to take a look: http://cocreatinginclusion.com.

It was hard to prioritize working on this because our previous site was working! Potential clients told us they were drawn to us because of it, that we were true to how we described ourselves, and then they hired us and generally proved to be a good fit.

However, it was also based on something created three years ago and while it was still true to who we are, it didn't reflect all of the work and iteration and deepening of our methodology that has happened since then through the work with all of our incredible clients.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 13, 2022#website, #senseofurgency, #deescalate

The four levels of everything

I have found it incredibly helpful to think of the four levels of oppression as the four levels of everything.

In particular, I’ve found it helpful to think of these levels as the four levels where we can have an impact and create change.

This doesn’t mean we should all necessarily be trying to work all four levels at once, although I do think we should try and consider all four levels at once.

However, one of the things that can be useful to figure out is where we personally are best suited to make the most impact.

A "chilling" tale about growth

The other day, a walk around the block turned into a trip to check out a new ice cream store in my neighborhood, The Social. Excited to check it out, I quickly though, hmmm, this seems an awful lot like a knock-off of Ample Hills Creamery, a local-turned-national ice cream sensation my family has been enjoying for years.

A sign on the wall shared the story of the company - the owners of The Social actually WERE the original founders of Ample Hills, but had to declare bankruptcy right before the pandemic.

I sat down to enjoy my ice-cream (Chocolate Fudge and Ooeyer and Gooeyer for those who might be curious) and to google on my phone... what the hell happened????!

The power of inclusion

I feel like I'm seeing the power of inclusion - where you feel a sense of belonging and acceptance for who you are and not because you are working hard to fit in - play out in front of my eyes in real time with my own kids.

I see how much difference just a little bit of psychological safety can make. We see it in our client organizations too.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickSeptember 19, 2021#inclusion, #schools, #circlenotladder, #pandemiclife, #parenting

Deep, slow, intentional work

Just when some of us were starting to exhale, albeit tentatively and uneasily, with regards to the pandemic, the information coming out about the Delta variant over the past few weeks has been concerning and disheartening to many.

Speaking for myself, my anxiety is way up. I'm back to where a trip to the grocery store feels like a direct channel into all of humanity's hopes and fears, and I'm spending more time than I'd care to admit, or is healthy or helpful, "doom scrolling" on social media.

Inclusion isn't just about being nice to people

I've come to see that paternalism is my own personal kryptonite. I can't stand people thinking they know better than me what is best for me - and not just thinking it, but assuming and acting on it.

The truth is that I've experienced paternalism my entire life. It's everywhere - it's in the air we breath, and we're all, to varying degrees, socialized into it.

It's also pretty much a founding principle for most of our non-profit and mission driven corporate clients.

The thing that we find that organizations and their leaders don't understand though is that paternalism hurts them too.

Now is a good time to focus on needs

As DEI consultants, we hold space for a lot of grief and trauma. In 2021 alone so far, our team has conducted almost 50 one-on-one interviews with staff, not to mention countless hours of small group meetings and sessions, workshop facilitation and DEI coaching.

Staff of all backgrounds, identities and levels of power and privilege are carrying a lot of hurt. We create space for them to say the things they cannot say elsewhere in the workplace. By creating anonymity (we do not disclose to our clients who we have interviewed) staff can be more candid, knowing they are protected while also knowing that we will take our findings back to the organization. It's not just venting.

What is the justice you are fighting for?

By Malaika Aaron-Bishop

The thing about rage is that it leaves in its wake a kind of emptiness. For me, this emptiness is in some ways more debilitating than all the swirling, vengeful chaos that came before. Sometimes, all I can manage is to crawl into the darkness and hold on.

Outside, there is a hush, but even in the quiet there is evidence of broken trust, generations of social contracts violated. Shards of glass in shades of green and red and brown; bits of rubber, burnt and frayed; a mangled barricade hapless, and cast aside; bits of cloth lost among fallen leaves and branches; we all mingle among dust and debris. Where once there were people risking their lives and livelihoods to demand justice for themselves and their communities, there are only warped canisters, used and discarded, laying forlorn among the gutters. Some still dribble faint pools, stinging with shame, while the children and elders accosted and demonized for performing their civic duties go home to wash their eyes.

Equity without inclusion is still oppression

One of the things we've seen at some of our client organizations as well as the communities we are part of, well-intentioned progress towards making decisions that are grounded in equity fall short when there is a continued reliance on top-down hierarchies, paternalism and lack of transparency that still doesn't include those most impacted.

What often ends up happening is that you end up with even more people not feeling heard.

Those who are aligned with power and privilege feel confused and threatened because a different kind of decision making is taking place that doesn't center them, but has not been explained - this often weaponizes equity as the reason no one gets what they need.

And those whose needs are supposedly being prioritized don't experience it that way either, because they weren't given a voice in the process, and they have no reason to trust that their needs are being considered at all.

What happens after radical truth telling and acknowledgement?

One of the things that often happens when you open up the space for difficult conversations about racism and other form of systemic oppression that might be underlying the challenges and harm experienced by the most impacted in a community or organization is that it gets messy. It feels uncomfortable. It is often intensely painful.

Burnout burnout burnout burnout...

Emotional exhaustion and burnout is real and has a disproportionate impact on women, BIPOC and others who face systemic challenges.

Honestly, I don't think I've ever felt more emotionally exhausted, and getting more sleep doesn't help.

So it was that Brene Brown's podcast interview with authors of the book "Burnout: the secret to unlocking the stress cycle" resonated deeply and also provided insights and practical strategies for dealing with stress, even when we have no control over the stressors.

Read more about my takeaways, then go listen to the podcast episode, then go read the book!

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickOctober 18, 2020#stress, #burnout, #brenebrown, #pandemiclife, #selfcare

More on the dilemma of fall school reopening decisions (why aren't we listening to those most impacted?)

The data shows that low-income, Black and Latinx families are the least in favor of re-opening schools. They place a higher priority on not dying (ie containing the virus) than on restarting the economy or getting their kids out of their hair so they can get work done more peacefully at home (which is the priority for many white and more privileged parents who are otherwise shielded from the worst effects of the virus).

As Jen Roesch argues in her article "If Opening Schools Is About Equity, Why Aren’t We Listening to Those Most Impacted?", instead of forcing students back to school, we should support them and their families to learn at home.

How are you approaching fall school reopening decisions for your family, if you have school age kids? What is your company or organization doing to support working parents? How can you advocate for working parents, especially those who face the most systemic challenges?

Lowering the cost of speaking up

One of the things I've realized that I can do as a DEI consultant, along with my team at Co-Creating Inclusion, is to lower the cost of speaking up.

And now what we're seeing across the country and even across the world, despite my misgivings about a "woke wave", is a systemic and cultural lowering of the cost of speaking up.

Change can happen

Change is a funny thing. I find that people, myself included, often get stuck in either being resistant to change because it's happening too fast and is out of our control or not in the direction we wanted, or being frustrated and feeling like we're banging our heads into walls and screaming into the wind because change isn't happening fast enough. Sometimes it feels like change isn't happening at all, or it's one step forward and three steps back.

What does equitable and inclusive leadership look like at this time?

We’ve been having frank and open conversations with leaders and HR folks at our client organizations about what equitable and inclusive leadership looks like at this time.

Based on these and various other conversations across multiple sectors and communities, here are some of our takeaways.

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