Creating a trauma-informed personal safety plan

Trauma is everywhere, both “big T” and “little t” trauma, much of which has been exacerbated these past two years of a global pandemic.

I do believe some of the shifts have also created opportunities for healing. In my experience, the exacerbation of certain trauma means that we have been forced to confront and address it rather than continuing to white knuckle our way through it.

And yet there is still so much unhealed trauma, and new trauma layered daily at the systemic, institutional, interpersonal as well as internalized level.

Part of the work of diversity, equity and inclusion is to heal ourselves so that in our trauma, we are not causing further harm to ourselves or others.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickApril 17, 2022#trauma, #traumainformed, #takefive, #needs

Say the thing

We know that feedback can be hard to hear.

It is perhaps one of the hardest things we ask leaders and others who align with power and privilege within their identities and their organizations to do when we do DEI work.

However, it’s the organizations that can work through the tough process of hearing difficult feedback that often make the most progress in shifting workplace culture to better serve their mission. We do a lot of scaffolding so leaders understand that feedback is a gift, even if you don’t like the wrapping paper, that it isn’t personal, that systems of oppression, although they manifest differently, show up in every organization, and that in order to change something, you first have to be able to name it.

The hypocrisy of “violence is never the answer”

White people self-righteously declaring that “violence is never the answer” is… not a good look. The utter hypocrisy when white culture and white American culture was FOUNDED on violence is entirely predictable yet exhausting just the same. The ENTIRE PREMISE of whiteness is violence. Whiteness was created explicitly and purposefully to justify and perpetuate violence.

So yeah.

Internalized oppression: if we can’t see that it’s systemic, we have no choice but to believe it’s personal

Of all the pieces I’ve read about Supreme Court nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s confirmation hearings, this article by Elie Mystal hit particularly hard: Ketanji Brown Jackson’s Long Pause Explained Racism and Sexism in America.

The article nails so much, from describing Ted Cruz as “the office manager who never learned how to use PowerPoint” to “the small-minded and condescending white people arrayed against her” on the Senate Judiciary Committee and the experience of watching her being put through “crucible of white approval.”

Oooof.

Create a circle not a ladder

One of the things we talk about a lot in our work with organizations is building a circle not a ladder.

What do we mean by this?

Well, a ladder is a hierarchy. There are people on top and people below. Often, those higher up on the ladder think that DEI work means extending a hand down to those below to help them up the ladder.

Um, no thank you.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 20, 2022#circlenotladder, #saviorism, #hierarchy

Our new website is live!

Our new website is live and we invite you to take a look: http://cocreatinginclusion.com.

It was hard to prioritize working on this because our previous site was working! Potential clients told us they were drawn to us because of it, that we were true to how we described ourselves, and then they hired us and generally proved to be a good fit.

However, it was also based on something created three years ago and while it was still true to who we are, it didn't reflect all of the work and iteration and deepening of our methodology that has happened since then through the work with all of our incredible clients.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 13, 2022#website, #senseofurgency, #deescalate

The problem with empathy

It’s been a tough week of news out of Ukraine.

I have been trying to take special care and to be aware of the different and perhaps invisible ways that we all might be variously impacted, on top of everything else that is going on. I am noticing my responses, managing my energy, and trying to stay focused on where I can make a difference.

As the days passed though, I’m noticing other things.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickFebruary 27, 2022#empathy, #grief, #love, #whiteprivilege, #whiteviolence

Deep abiding grief

I’ve been experiencing a huge wave of grief lately.

Some of it is personal, some of it is systemic.

It’s painful, this deep and abiding grief.

The four levels of everything

I have found it incredibly helpful to think of the four levels of oppression as the four levels of everything.

In particular, I’ve found it helpful to think of these levels as the four levels where we can have an impact and create change.

This doesn’t mean we should all necessarily be trying to work all four levels at once, although I do think we should try and consider all four levels at once.

However, one of the things that can be useful to figure out is where we personally are best suited to make the most impact.

It’s not about love

Something that struck me this week is that it is a common belief amongst white people and an underlying default assumption that racism is about hate.

When they say they “don’t have a racist bone in their body” they mean what they also sometimes say which is that their “heart is full of love.” When asked why racism should be eradicated, they say it’s because “everyone deserves to be loved.”

Do white people really think that people of color don’t experience love? That we don’t feel loved? That we experience love less than white people do?

Transparency matters

Last week we talked about how feedback may be painful but is critical for equity and inclusion. To follow up on that conversation, it also feels important to say that transparency matters.

I often like to say that the only thing worse than not gathering feedback is gathering feedback and then not sharing the results.

Seriously. The distrust and loss of morale that can be caused by this is not to be underestimated.

And I can’t tell you the number of times we hear from staff that this has happened when we start working with organizations.

Feedback may be painful but it is critical for equity and inclusion

When I first started doing DEI consulting, I have to say I didn’t expect that so much of what we do would be about opening up spaces so our clients can gather feedback from across their staff.

However, it has proven to be one of the most valuable aspects of our work.

What we’ve realized is that we are hired to uncover the truths that may be painful for organizations to hear but that have the potential to be transformative if only they are open to it.

Revisiting burnout

I won’t lie - I’m tired, although it comes in waves, and it’s hard to know if its from covid or just... all this. Burnout is coming up with some of our clients too, especially those on the frontlines of putting DEI to practice in their organizations. The work is tiring, and it can be hard to pinpoint what exactly is exhausting us the most.

I think, to some extent, it doesn’t really matter, or if you need an answer but can’t figure it out, it is probably all of the above. Figuring out the source can be helpful, but only to a degree, because what if we can’t change the source?

Inclusive LeadershipAlethea FitzpatrickJanuary 16, 2022#pandemiclife, #needs, #burnout, #selfcare, #DEIinapandemic

Those of us with kids in a pandemic are not ok

I've also been thinking a lot about the systemic and intergenerational roots of trauma, hyper-vigilance, anxiety, over-responsibility and depression.

I am becoming more and more aware of how, as women of color, we are socialized to make ourselves over-responsible for.... everything. And we don’t just make ourselves over-responsible - we are made over-responsible, used as workhorses while being undermined, dismissed, devalued and uncredited.

And those of us with kids in a pandemic are not ok.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickJanuary 9, 2022#pandemiclife, #parenting

Invisible work

The topic of invisible work has been coming up a lot lately.

Invisible work has been an undergirding principle of capitalism, patriarchy and white supremacy since the beginning of time immemorial - and it is deeply embedded into every aspect of US history and the ongoing legacy of a country founded on slavery, genocide and colonization.

Of course, at the inception of this country, it wasn’t just invisible work, it was the violently coerced labor of chattel slavery without which this country could not have built a viable economy, infrastructure or culture.

That legacy lives on today - we no longer have slavery but we still have invisible work.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickDecember 12, 2021#capitalism, #1619project, #whitesupremacyculture

White entitlement leads to violence

Can we talk about white violence?

Can we talk about white parents who bought their son a gun as an early Christmas gift?

Can we talk about the kind of white entitlement where a parent either assumes their son won't harm others or doesn't care that he might?

The heaviness of grief

Things are so much better than they were for my family now that the kids are settled back into in-person school. That they are thriving seems like a miracle, and with my younger son just a few weeks away from being fully vaccinated, there is the sense that I can exhale just a little bit.

And yet, with the exhale comes the grief, multi-layered. Waves and waves of it, especially, ironically, at the weekend when there is more space for it.

It can be easy to numb ourselves through a variety of means, including throwing ourselves into work. The danger is that grief unnamed can come out sideways to exacerbate power differentials and systems of oppression.

Inclusive LeadershipAlethea FitzpatrickNovember 21, 2021#pandemiclife, #parenting, #grief, #selfcare

I should have done my research on IDEO

Last week I wrote about my experiences with some IDEO design thinking courses and highly recommended them. However, one of our readers, Malla Haridat, very generously reached out to note that IDEO has had some serious conversations pop up around DEI that I should know about.

Yikes.

And sigh.

I have to admit I was not aware, and absolutely should have done my research, especially before making a recommendation. I regret that Malla had to reach out and let me know.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickNovember 14, 2021#designthinking, #inclusion, #inclusiveleadership

Design thinking can help to build inclusion

Design Thinking is an iterative process in which we seek to understand the user, challenge assumptions, and redefine problems in an attempt to identify alternative strategies and solutions that might not be instantly apparent with our initial level of understanding. At the same time, Design Thinking provides a solution-based approach to solving problems. It is a way of thinking and working as well as a collection of hands-on methods. - Interaction Design Foundation

Sounds like DEI to me!

Pandering to funders

Ooof. It came to my attention earlier this week that an architect had resigned from UCSB's Design Review Committee over the university's proposed Munger Hall Project, a giant monstrosity of a student housing project where 94 percent of the 4,500 students would not have windows in their small single-occupancy rooms. Further, these rooms would be grouped into suites of 8 bedrooms per one bathroom. Oh and those 4,500 students? There would only be 2 exits to the building.

How could this be? Well, as the article explains, "The idea was conceived by 97-year-old billionaire-investor turned amateur-architect Charles Munger, who donated $200 million toward the project with the condition that his blueprints be followed exactly."

Did I say ooooof already?

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickOctober 31, 2021#architecture, #funders, #disruption, #feedback

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